Selfless Selfishness

I am exhausted. In the last 24 hours, I spent 50% of my time standing, or as I like to say workin' dem corners, for the Habitat for Humanity change drive, and the other 50%, I have been sleeping. I went to bed at 11 o'clock last night, which was a Friday (sad) and the earliest I fell asleep all week (sadder). But honestly, how selfish am I, only concerned with my own needs, problems, qualms of the heart, if you will? While shaking my can (for the change of course, you perverts!), the only thought I had as I faked a smile and took over the role as pedophile from Safety Village (handing out candy to children) was why on earth didn't I eat breakfast? I was starving, thinking of Potbelly, forgetting where I was and why I was standing there in the first place.

Habitat for Humanity was why I was there. The organization is only possible with the little things- the pennies, the nails, the smiles, the individuals- coming together to build something bigger than anything possible alone. Yet, I lost sight of the end goal- that big, beautiful house for a deserving family. Forgetting is an easy thing to do. Throughout the day, I think about the things that concern me. I think about my grade in Biology, my flavor of my yogurt at lunch, my hairstyle for the moment, my chaos that is my schedule. But every once in a while, I remember there are people around me! Think of their problems! We each have our individual stories. Mine, in comparison to so many others, is a fairy-tale. 

Once upon a time, my mother had thyroid cancer. The Wellness House, a non-profit cancer support center, was a place my mother could talk to others going through similar, or sometimes worse, situations. It was also a place where I could play with other kids to give my mom a short break from raising a little brat of a child (that's me!). 

Now my mom, cancer-free, and I volunteer at the front desk and in the kids' camp at the House. And for that short time each week, I set aside my problems; I stop trying to perfect my life and, instead, touch the lives of others; I stop trying to make myself happy. 

Behind that desk, I genuinely smile, looking into the eyes of each participant as they walk in, watching them crinkle as they smile back. And, surprisingly enough, it is when I stop trying to make myself happy that I am happiest.

So I help others get asked to homecoming and I smile and I wave with feeling even when I don't want to. When I put aside whatever I want for just a minute or even an hour, instead of constantly trying to find happiness, I feel it.

Make others happy. You will be surprised how wonderfully selfish it can be.