For a Future Toast

Life waits for all of us
Or should I say lives?

There is not just one path,
Never a single direction to walk.

We must chose, carefully.

Everyday we are presented with options:
Do I jump out of bed and face the day
Or do I sleep for fifteen more minutes?
Do I start my paper now or go out to dinner with my mother?

Who's to say one option is better than the others?
Maybe I need to fix my hair or maybe I need to sleep.
Maybe I need to get a good grade or maybe I need to appreciate the people in my life while they are still here.

Everyday, we choose which footsteps to follow, which small turn to take. It could be the difference between left and right, or fifteen minutes and now. 

But, someday the paths will split.

One we will walk. One we will leave behind.

What new things will we meet? What new people and new sights? New feelings and new challenges?

What lies on my path? What lies in the one I left behind?

What if I spend my life wishing I went left instead of right. Wishing for the life I had turned away from?

But, in the end, we must celebrate the crossroads in life. They dictate who we are and what we appreciate. There are only so many sunrises and so many sunsets to see. Why waste a single one with doubt or worry?

So, here's to walking a path, whichever one you should choose, with a head held high and feet firm on the ground, right and then left.

Here's looking forward and not behind.

Outstretched

Sorry it's been a while, guys. Hopefully this new post will serve as the reason why. 

There is no way we can operate at 110%. Yet, we are always asked to do so. Push harder, further than you think your hand can stretch. In reality, we can only stretch so far for so long.

I think most would agree with me when I say this week felt longer than most. It’s Friday but doesn’t it feel like we already passed Friday and are back to Monday? I certainly have a case of the Monday Blues.

In my math class, my teacher asked in his joking manner, “Bridget, did you do your homework?” I had to say no. I could never lie to Mr. Frees. But, I always do my homework. Of course, I thought to myself, he would ask today, today—the Friday with the Monday Blues. It was the one time all year that I hadn’t done it the night before. There just wasn't time.

In my math class, I couldn’t smile or laugh my usual cackle. My friend in my class commented, “I have never seen you sad before. It’s weird.”

It was weird. It was the end of a busy week, one filled with tests and meetings, before, after, and during school, and papers and speeches and finally, I was done. I was done, but I was left feeling sad.

Not to brag or lament about the activities I participate in, I want to just walk you through my yesterday. Maybe it will serve as my justification for not doing my math homework. Maybe not. 

After a school day riddled with AP classes, I got home only to leave again to tutor (got to get those NHS points in) for two hours. I then picked up my friend from her house so we could attend the fall play (which I needed to do for ambassadors club) and begin the discussion following the production on behalf of Breaking Down the Walls.

I finally got home at 9:45. I ate dinner and fell asleep on my couch.

This morning I woke up at 6:15 to shower. I left my house by 6:50 so I could stop by Einstein’s to buy bagels for my Habitat for Humanity Board meeting and my English class.

This cycle of stretching and reaching keeps me busy and involved, two things I love to be. And, I love all of the things I participate in. Each one serves a purpose in my life and a greater purpose in the world. However, no matter how much I love the things I do, no matter how I try to stretch the hours of the day, to stretch further and longer, I wake up in the morning feeling sad, and that’s just not who I am.

I think it's finally time for me to admit that no matter how much I want to, sometimes I just can't. I can't be everything I want to be. If I try, I may just risk losing the person I am.